Betrayal – just reading this word stirs a multitude of emotions. Read here, an excerpt from Naveen Varshneya’s Vartalaap with the current Chetna batch, to go work through your burden of the experience of betrayal.
The breach of a promise…
…a process- the part of an arrangement.
Impact: It may lead to anger, fear, shame, guilt, self-pity, rejection, etc.
Promise >> Hope >> Positive emotions (safe/secure) – survival dependent on this promise
Placed faith & powers in a relationship, which promised to continue to love and sail you through life.
Someone promises to pay you a certain amount every month.
This leads to hope and positive emotions as you feel safe and secure, and your survival is taken care of.
You placed faith and power in a relationship, which promised to sail you through life.
Now when you face betrayal in that relationship, it is that someone has left you with your lack (Rejection/Abandonment/Neglect) and in your Loop of Suffering.
Why does Betrayal hurt?
There are 2 sides to you and me in every given scenario – egoistic and non-egoistic self. We choose to operate from either one, depending on where we are in life.
When egoistic, you would believe that what has been promised is your right. When betrayed, you would feel deprived of your right. There would be a demand to return what was taken away; anger for what was promised and not delivered.
When in a non-egoistic space, you would never place complete faith in the promise. It doesn’t mean that you don’t have any trust, but you would have more faith in life and self. It would pain that you were betrayed; however, you wouldn’t turn hopeless, as you have faith in life and believe that one thing or another would come your way.
And it is quite possible that your belief makes you egoistic. Or that it doesn’t allow you to learn your lessons, which would help dissolve your pattern of inviting betrayal.
Faith, the lack of it
The Root of Suffering of the entire humanity is that we don’t have faith in ourselves.
We have been programmed and conditioned since childhood to place all energies in hands of someone else – partner/ employer/ friends.
We are in constant search of someone who would look after us and we refuse to look after ourselves.
To decode is to think scientifically as taught in the programs:
Make your flowchart > Arrive at your algorithm > See patterns in every event.
So, make your flowchart.
When you decode betrayal – decode to figure out your hopelessness and lack of faith in yourself.
Investment: When we invest in a relationship, we nurture, we believe, we give in a relationship and we have faith, hope, and trust. We hold a vision for the relationship. When we invest and receive betrayal, it directs us to pain.A classical example is – a mother invests in a child for 9 months in the womb.
Expense: We give in to a relationship, thinking that this relationship will now take care of me and I don’t have to do anything. We feel loved, protected and safe, and dependent on that person. That is when betrayal leads to hopelessness, anger, and lifelessness. We have spent ourselves in the relationship not invested.