Why Do We Celebrate Suffering And Misery?

Question: Why do we celebrate suffering or misery? OR shall I say, why do we respect people who are miserable or rather living a compromised life?

We slander people who wish to change their lives, call them selfish, why? Why do we not celebrate happy people?

an example; a woman stuck in a bad marriage, due to her parents or her kids, putting up with a bad husband (could be anything), and everyone will be feeling sorry for her, saying how patient she is, how compassionate she is. The moment she decides to step out of that marriage, everybody’s views about her will change. Why?

-by Dr Ashish Paul

REPLY: The best way to understand our investment in suffering and misery is through the theory of reincarnation and it has a simple reply that the soul wants to spend time (one lifetime or few) learning the lessons that misery and suppressing self is not worth surviving. From our clinical experience, I can tell you that almost all the cases of mental disorders reach a stage in our treatment where their suffering is eradicated and now if they take a few steps with us then they are ready to take responsibility for their life. At this junction, they decide to chill out with partial disorder and yet live coolly as they have family members to support them. You and I look at them and say, they are suffering, but in essence, they are not… You and I are suffering seeing them not taking responsibility for their life when they have a choice. They choose not to choose.

In the case of Autism, a child has no sign of suffering and remains at peace even in a hypertension state but parents suffer seeing the child autistic because they have a belief that the child shall be normal.

A woman choosing to remain in a bad marriage and continue to suffer is her choice. The funny thing about sympathy is that it feels as if we have concern towards another person, but at a deeper level, we shall seek validation of our suffering through that woman. She is comfortable with her misery. She has problems with her partner but she does not have a problem with her problem. Her soul needs this lesson.

And one day, when she has completed her learning, she moves to the next quantum level, leaving all of us alone with our suffering to search for another miserable woman.

We must change our view about the woman who decides to move on positively as her situation has changed… where is the problem with changing the view when we know nothing is fixed, everything is vibrating…so is death and destiny…

Responses

Meditation – the cure

 “I just have one belief; I do not believe human life is for suffering”

Naveen Varshneya 

Our courses

Chetna

Discover the pattern which drove you to make choices to arrive at suffering. 

Treatment Program

3 month long Personalised program for Acute and Chronic cases.

Swastim

Nothing lives inside us without being fed by our breath.

While drawing our algorithm, we start with identifying our symptoms. Do we look at our symptoms of today or from our childhood? Our tendencies also seem like they are about today and not from our childhood. How should I interpret this?

You can start with identifying your symptoms today and make your Algorithm identifying your Lack, Tendency and Pattern. It may seem like the tendencies are loud and clear today. This is only because as an adult, you are either more aware of it, or the tendency is more pronounced. However, if you go back to that age group of 7-14, you will find that the same tendency existed back then as well.  

For example – your lack is abandonment and so your tendency is need to prove/ excel. As an adult, you try extremely hard to prove yourself at work, but maybe as a ten-year-old you wanted to make sure that you win a colouring competition or feel worthy by collecting the maximum number of berries or fruits. 

 So, you would notice how the nature of tendency existed even back then – sometimes subtly, sometimes pronounced. It is just a matter of developing sensitivity to recognize it in that time and space. However, you can always work with current scenarios. 

Now that I have made my algorithm and have identified my lack, what do I do with this? Do I have to re-visit my childhood?

In every moment of disappointment – current or past, you can experience the lack. There are two ways to attend to the lack, once identified – 

  1.  You may simply keep your Algorithm/Lack in awareness by writing the events of the current time and go into breathing 
  2. You can revisit your childhood and write about moments that you experienced the Lack/Algorithm and once you have written a few events (in detail), you may lay down and begin to observe your breath. 

In either of the processes, your Algorithm/lack is in your complete awareness and observing your breath after this would only bring an expansion in your awareness. 

After finding my LTP and mapping my algorithm, I can see how I have suffered in my childhood and continue to do so. What can I do to remedy this and reverse my suffering?

 Since you are seeking the cure, you must know that state of meditation is the state of cure. The more you are in this state, the more you move towards light, thus curing your suffering.  

All the things which come into your awareness, must now be attended to by Observing your breath. For process of attending to what has surfaced, refer to Ques no 8 

Now that I have made my algorithm and have identified my lack, what do I do with this? Do I have to re-visit my childhood?

In every moment of disappointment – current or past, you can experience the lack. There are two ways to attend to the lack, once identified – 

  1.  You may simply keep your Algorithm/Lack in awareness by writing the events of the current time and go into breathing 
  1. You can revisit your childhood and write about moments that you experienced the Lack/Algorithm and once you have written a few events (in detail), you may lay down and begin to observe your breath. 

In either of the processes, your Algorithm/lack is in your complete awareness and observing your breath after this would only bring an expansion in your awareness.