Question: Why do we celebrate suffering or misery? OR shall I say, why do we respect people who are miserable or rather living a compromised life?
We slander people who wish to change their lives, call them selfish, why? Why do we not celebrate happy people?
an example; a woman stuck in a bad marriage, due to her parents or her kids, putting up with a bad husband (could be anything), and everyone will be feeling sorry for her, saying how patient she is, how compassionate she is. The moment she decides to step out of that marriage, everybody’s views about her will change. Why?
-by Dr Ashish Paul
REPLY: The best way to understand our investment in suffering and misery is through the theory of reincarnation and it has a simple reply that the soul wants to spend time (one lifetime or few) learning the lessons that misery and suppressing self is not worth surviving. From our clinical experience, I can tell you that almost all the cases of mental disorders reach a stage in our treatment where their suffering is eradicated and now if they take a few steps with us then they are ready to take responsibility for their life. At this junction, they decide to chill out with partial disorder and yet live coolly as they have family members to support them. You and I look at them and say, they are suffering, but in essence, they are not… You and I are suffering seeing them not taking responsibility for their life when they have a choice. They choose not to choose.
In the case of Autism, a child has no sign of suffering and remains at peace even in a hypertension state but parents suffer seeing the child autistic because they have a belief that the child shall be normal.
A woman choosing to remain in a bad marriage and continue to suffer is her choice. The funny thing about sympathy is that it feels as if we have concern towards another person, but at a deeper level, we shall seek validation of our suffering through that woman. She is comfortable with her misery. She has problems with her partner but she does not have a problem with her problem. Her soul needs this lesson.
And one day, when she has completed her learning, she moves to the next quantum level, leaving all of us alone with our suffering to search for another miserable woman.
We must change our view about the woman who decides to move on positively as her situation has changed… where is the problem with changing the view when we know nothing is fixed, everything is vibrating…so is death and destiny…