To turn inward or not to: what will be your choice?

Do you see someone running on a still treadmill?

I met someone the other day, as a coach and not a friend. Had been meeting her intermittently at our center. She came with the intent to practice the NV Life techniques and more often than not, she tended to fall asleep, even with the 1st step of the technique that we teach, from the book.

That day, she rambled. She did not easily go towards practicing. She wanted to be heard. And she spoke of all else other than the primary issue she is grappling with- for which she is visiting the center!

She spoke of the kids and their screen time. She spoke of her partner and his lackadaisical habits and how she is trying to get him to get onto a routine. She spoke of how she does not have any time as she has so much to attend to.

 

 

And I could just see my past, from 4 years back springing up. My relationship was in shambles. And while I had moved out of it, I was in shambles! Unable to make meaning of most things in the here and now, I was going with the flow – “Being strong”, attending family weddings, socializing, attending to work, being a ‘present’ mom.

And then SNAP. I was not available. To anyone or anything else, least of all to myself. But even after this snap moment, I had to make meaning of my existence. So there I was- trying to fix issues of my kids, trying to figure some stuff at work. Just trying. And failing.

And then come September, my sister accompanied me to a workshop; where all I received (so I thought then) were tough kicks and myriad moments of feeling unacknowledged while being there. That was my beginning with NV Life, which is now home.

 

 

Moreover, as she spoke today, the lines from the book were ringing in, aloud. I wanted to just say – “Please understand- ‘the problem with the problem is that it does not allow you to stay with it’ – Meditation The Cure.”

Why?

Because this woman was spending hours trying to work, when she could barely manage to get an email out.
Because she was concerned about her child’s change in behavior and misdemeanors, while she had little control over creating any safe space for herself or her children.

Because she was afraid that her child was having too much screen time- and this would be 1 point of contention that she could pick up with the Mister and thus have some purposeful dialogue with the “until-now-love-of-her-life”.

And, I realized that asking her to go smell some coffee, get real, and attend to the issue of a failing marriage would not work.

 

 

“She has to Pause. And she has to start the process, step by step.
She has to clear her time, space, and energy to be with herself.
She has to listen to her breath.
She has to begin the walk inwards.” 

She has to go back to what she ran away from, during Chetna. And has to take the baby steps.
I feel the anguish of seeing just this one woman suffer. And there are many – men and women.

And I do not care what the beam balance of the relationship really is and whose column shows more reds, between the two of them. No, I do not wish for her to stay in the marriage. And I do not wish for her to walk out of it.

What I do wish for is that she walks in and finds the place of origin- where it all began- and how she manifested this distressful suffering in her life; a situation where she is at the brink of losing her coherence.

 

 

I wish for every individual, who is in distress to take care of him/herself. For it is the writing on the wall:

Emotional distress = Mental Agony = Physical Ailments
&
If inner peace = a calm mind,

then

A calm mind (read: minimal thoughts) = being with the breath = attending to the suppressed emotions = disempowering the charged patterns of suffering.

The question is, what takes more courage:

To Pause

Or

To continue running on a treadmill that has long stopped?

 

Responses

Meditation – the cure

 “I just have one belief; I do not believe human life is for suffering”

Naveen Varshneya 

Our courses

Chetna ->

Discover the pattern which drove you to make choices to arrive at suffering. 

Treatment Program ->

3 month long Personalised program for Acute and Chronic cases.

Swastim ->

Nothing lives inside us without being fed by our breath.

While drawing our algorithm, we start with identifying our symptoms. Do we look at our symptoms of today or from our childhood? Our tendencies also seem like they are about today and not from our childhood. How should I interpret this?

You can start with identifying your symptoms today and make your Algorithm identifying your Lack, Tendency and Pattern. It may seem like the tendencies are loud and clear today. This is only because as an adult, you are either more aware of it, or the tendency is more pronounced. However, if you go back to that age group of 7-14, you will find that the same tendency existed back then as well.  

For example – your lack is abandonment and so your tendency is need to prove/ excel. As an adult, you try extremely hard to prove yourself at work, but maybe as a ten-year-old you wanted to make sure that you win a colouring competition or feel worthy by collecting the maximum number of berries or fruits. 

 So, you would notice how the nature of tendency existed even back then – sometimes subtly, sometimes pronounced. It is just a matter of developing sensitivity to recognize it in that time and space. However, you can always work with current scenarios. 

Now that I have made my algorithm and have identified my lack, what do I do with this? Do I have to re-visit my childhood?

In every moment of disappointment – current or past, you can experience the lack. There are two ways to attend to the lack, once identified – 

  1.  You may simply keep your Algorithm/Lack in awareness by writing the events of the current time and go into breathing 
  2. You can revisit your childhood and write about moments that you experienced the Lack/Algorithm and once you have written a few events (in detail), you may lay down and begin to observe your breath. 

In either of the processes, your Algorithm/lack is in your complete awareness and observing your breath after this would only bring an expansion in your awareness. 

After finding my LTP and mapping my algorithm, I can see how I have suffered in my childhood and continue to do so. What can I do to remedy this and reverse my suffering?

 Since you are seeking the cure, you must know that state of meditation is the state of cure. The more you are in this state, the more you move towards light, thus curing your suffering.  

All the things which come into your awareness, must now be attended to by Observing your breath. For process of attending to what has surfaced, refer to Ques no 8 

Now that I have made my algorithm and have identified my lack, what do I do with this? Do I have to re-visit my childhood?

In every moment of disappointment – current or past, you can experience the lack. There are two ways to attend to the lack, once identified – 

  1.  You may simply keep your Algorithm/Lack in awareness by writing the events of the current time and go into breathing 
  1. You can revisit your childhood and write about moments that you experienced the Lack/Algorithm and once you have written a few events (in detail), you may lay down and begin to observe your breath. 

In either of the processes, your Algorithm/lack is in your complete awareness and observing your breath after this would only bring an expansion in your awareness.