The canopy of Angel’s trumpet at the entrance, its sweet and dreamy fragrance, the fallen leaves clad pathways, the cool breeze, the sound of fireflies around, it felt like paradise.

The flowers hung down from the branches as if trumpets directed at the earth from the heavens अबोवे। The soft, seductive scent floating in the air was drawing me towards the flowers like a magnet. As I walked the pathway and brushed my nose in the flowers to take a whiff, the fragrance was almost intoxicating. That evening my sense of smell was highly receptive and I was glued to that hallucinating smell. Thoughtless, I walked as if I was possessed. 

And there a conversation began:  

I: Angel (to the Angel’s Trumpet), you are so beautiful, and your smell is so sweet… 

Angel: Thank You! So, you are not aware? 

I: Of what? I asked. 

Angel: Tell me exactly, how you feel? 

I: I am in wonderment and this feels like heaven. 

Angel: How do you know what heaven looks like? 

I: I am assuming…. 

Angel: So, you like to be in your dream world? 

I: Yes, who doesn’t like to be… (here I picked one of the fallen flowers to smell again)  

Angel: So, you love flowers? 

I: Ok, so I’m not the one who would love to receive flowers or give flowers but yes in their natural state like the way you are here, I just can’t take my eyes off you… 

Angel: Don’t you feel this is an illusion?  

I: Why do you say that? I can feel, it’s real… 

Angel: Well, see you in the morning… 

I: See you!  

The next morning as I walked out to relive the experience, it took me by surprise that I did not feel the same. My emotions had changed. Now, I was curious. I brushed my nose in the flowers once again to smell the fragrance. The smell was not the same. The question stayed alive in me while we started the Manthan within. 

With each passing day the ambience was changing as the nature changed its course. And my curiosity deepened. One fine morning as we walked towards the dining area for breakfast talking about the melancholy of nature on that particular day, my question was answered.  

The Angel’s Trumpet is known for its intoxicating night fragrance and more so of its poison. It blooms being absolutely aware of its poison. And yes, it doesn’t go away from its nature to bloom, bringing a sense of wonderment, to fall and then bloom again.  

This Manthan and beyond, was no less for me. The poison was surfacing of which I was completely unaware of. Could I accept my poison and fall and bloom again? Well, each passing day will tell my story…  

Until then, I just wish to stay with the prayer: 

 

मुक्त करदे हे प्रभु 

तू मुझे मेरे ही अभिशाप से  

रो रही है चेतना मेरी अनंत काल से  

एक बार और मृत्यु इस जीवन में हो जाएगी मेरी  

करम मेरे यह ना कहे  

एक मौक़ा और दे प्रभु।। 

 

Nikita Kala

Responses

While drawing our algorithm, we start with identifying our symptoms. Do we look at our symptoms of today or from our childhood? Our tendencies also seem like they are about today and not from our childhood. How should I interpret this?

You can start with identifying your symptoms today and make your Algorithm identifying your Lack, Tendency and Pattern. It may seem like the tendencies are loud and clear today. This is only because as an adult, you are either more aware of it, or the tendency is more pronounced. However, if you go back to that age group of 7-14, you will find that the same tendency existed back then as well.  

For example – your lack is abandonment and so your tendency is need to prove/ excel. As an adult, you try extremely hard to prove yourself at work, but maybe as a ten-year-old you wanted to make sure that you win a colouring competition or feel worthy by collecting the maximum number of berries or fruits. 

 So, you would notice how the nature of tendency existed even back then – sometimes subtly, sometimes pronounced. It is just a matter of developing sensitivity to recognize it in that time and space. However, you can always work with current scenarios. 

Now that I have made my algorithm and have identified my lack, what do I do with this? Do I have to re-visit my childhood?

In every moment of disappointment – current or past, you can experience the lack. There are two ways to attend to the lack, once identified – 

  1.  You may simply keep your Algorithm/Lack in awareness by writing the events of the current time and go into breathing 
  2. You can revisit your childhood and write about moments that you experienced the Lack/Algorithm and once you have written a few events (in detail), you may lay down and begin to observe your breath. 

In either of the processes, your Algorithm/lack is in your complete awareness and observing your breath after this would only bring an expansion in your awareness. 

After finding my LTP and mapping my algorithm, I can see how I have suffered in my childhood and continue to do so. What can I do to remedy this and reverse my suffering?

 Since you are seeking the cure, you must know that state of meditation is the state of cure. The more you are in this state, the more you move towards light, thus curing your suffering.  

All the things which come into your awareness, must now be attended to by Observing your breath. For process of attending to what has surfaced, refer to Ques no 8 

Now that I have made my algorithm and have identified my lack, what do I do with this? Do I have to re-visit my childhood?

In every moment of disappointment – current or past, you can experience the lack. There are two ways to attend to the lack, once identified – 

  1.  You may simply keep your Algorithm/Lack in awareness by writing the events of the current time and go into breathing 
  1. You can revisit your childhood and write about moments that you experienced the Lack/Algorithm and once you have written a few events (in detail), you may lay down and begin to observe your breath. 

In either of the processes, your Algorithm/lack is in your complete awareness and observing your breath after this would only bring an expansion in your awareness.