Seen your parents in the act?


A number of us may have been witnesses to our parents in the act of love-making in our childhood. Here’s sharing with you the insights from Naveen sir, from Vartalaap on the relevance of this event.

Be with breath as you read this- for it may open up wounds that you did not know you have.

As a child when we witness our parents in an intimate moment it triggers deep loneliness, this loneliness further triggers fear of being left alone or in other words fear of survival.

Why does a child feel lonely seeing his parents share an act of love?


You may have done this as a child or seen your children do this. If they see their parents sitting together, enjoying a cup of tea, they like to plonk themselves onto the couch between the parents. This is normal behaviour for children as they see love being shared and feel left out. They want to feel included in this intimacy between parents. Parents being the centre of their existence.

Now imagine the repercussion of seeing their parents in the act of love making. In a girl, it triggers “I am deprived and someone else is enjoying my father” and vice versa for a boy. So the 4 emotional components in this scenario would be.

• Loneliness

• Fear

• Jealousy

• And of course, pleasure.

And then as a child you feel ashamed and guilty that you may have seen, what you were not supposed to be party to.

Stay tuned for the rest of the series- where we help you decode the impact of this event on your future relationships.