There are two hurdles you face as a result of witnessing your parents making love-
• One is that your sexual energy has been prematurely invoked; what should have happened during your teenage, happened earlier.
• You know what pleasure is and you know the shame associated with it too.
If you are competent, you have an ego and you are a go-getter, you can pick up any guy.
Else, it will remain your Dark Fantasy because you want a constant source of pleasure, as your sexual energy has been invoked. You are ashamed of that pleasure.
If there is a ‘Mr Nice Guy’ who truly wants you and who wants to have a normal relationship with you, you wouldn’t want that, because it is too straightjacketed for you.
There is no shame in doing it with him, as he has all the love and respect for you. Since you can’t experience pleasure without shame, you search for various avenues to fulfill that need.
You are happy with a man with dark tendencies because there are both components that float your boat- pleasure as well as the shame of sharing this pleasure with a “Bad Boy”.
Stay tuned for the last of the series.