Loneliness: How are you hiding yours ?

 

Loneliness destabilizes you. You go to all lengths to hide it, sometimes behind your million-dollar smile, and at other times in your arrogant aloofness. You are afraid to be alone even for a few minutes. What if I don’t like my own company? What shape does your loneliness take? What does it make you do?

Top 5 escape routes- to avoid the unstable emotion of loneliness! What’s yours

Samvaaad

Student Ponders: How do I make the shift from loneliness to solitude?

 

Coach guides: 

Step one is to Identify which emotion is connected to your loneliness.

If you’re able to identify the shape your loneliness takes, what it makes you do, the nature of it. Then you’re becoming intimate with your loneliness by coming face to face with it. When you do that, you should be able to move towards positive emotions – like, love, intimacy, sensuality by practising art, music or just enjoying time alone. And that is the movement from loneliness to solitude.

If all of you can recognise the nature of your loneliness, your intimacy with loneliness will begin to grow.

 

Loneliness to Solitude

जब सांस लेती हूँ तो हर कण में हरकत होती है

और उस सांस में अपने अधूरेपन का एह्सास भी है

और पूर्ण होने की उम्मीद भी

Juhie Saboo – Faculty

 

Author Speaks

“Loneliness- You have it and I have it and we all have it. If you do not know it and I know it, it is because you could hide it and I failed at hiding.” – Naveen Varshneya

Responses

While drawing our algorithm, we start with identifying our symptoms. Do we look at our symptoms of today or from our childhood? Our tendencies also seem like they are about today and not from our childhood. How should I interpret this?

You can start with identifying your symptoms today and make your Algorithm identifying your Lack, Tendency and Pattern. It may seem like the tendencies are loud and clear today. This is only because as an adult, you are either more aware of it, or the tendency is more pronounced. However, if you go back to that age group of 7-14, you will find that the same tendency existed back then as well.  

For example – your lack is abandonment and so your tendency is need to prove/ excel. As an adult, you try extremely hard to prove yourself at work, but maybe as a ten-year-old you wanted to make sure that you win a colouring competition or feel worthy by collecting the maximum number of berries or fruits. 

 So, you would notice how the nature of tendency existed even back then – sometimes subtly, sometimes pronounced. It is just a matter of developing sensitivity to recognize it in that time and space. However, you can always work with current scenarios. 

Now that I have made my algorithm and have identified my lack, what do I do with this? Do I have to re-visit my childhood?

In every moment of disappointment – current or past, you can experience the lack. There are two ways to attend to the lack, once identified – 

  1.  You may simply keep your Algorithm/Lack in awareness by writing the events of the current time and go into breathing 
  2. You can revisit your childhood and write about moments that you experienced the Lack/Algorithm and once you have written a few events (in detail), you may lay down and begin to observe your breath. 

In either of the processes, your Algorithm/lack is in your complete awareness and observing your breath after this would only bring an expansion in your awareness. 

After finding my LTP and mapping my algorithm, I can see how I have suffered in my childhood and continue to do so. What can I do to remedy this and reverse my suffering?

 Since you are seeking the cure, you must know that state of meditation is the state of cure. The more you are in this state, the more you move towards light, thus curing your suffering.  

All the things which come into your awareness, must now be attended to by Observing your breath. For process of attending to what has surfaced, refer to Ques no 8 

Now that I have made my algorithm and have identified my lack, what do I do with this? Do I have to re-visit my childhood?

In every moment of disappointment – current or past, you can experience the lack. There are two ways to attend to the lack, once identified – 

  1.  You may simply keep your Algorithm/Lack in awareness by writing the events of the current time and go into breathing 
  1. You can revisit your childhood and write about moments that you experienced the Lack/Algorithm and once you have written a few events (in detail), you may lay down and begin to observe your breath. 

In either of the processes, your Algorithm/lack is in your complete awareness and observing your breath after this would only bring an expansion in your awareness.