Her sincere persistent quest towards authenticity helped her face her dark with courage and embrace the beauty of her spirit. 

“Nature of belief is to search for certainty, and we have accumulated infinite belief over various lifetimes, coded as the tendencies in our soul…. In life, this is what we do with relationships and self. We create patterns of failures and misery because that gives us a feeling of certainty and a sense of security.” 

Certification Program I, Pondicherry Retreat 

Nov 2018             

Context & Learning 

My feedback here comes from a person who had done NV Life- Swaha in 2017 and had relished the work done there. And while she made progress, she also lacked sincerity. So she fell off the bandwagon for a while before she got onto it again.  

So, when I went for the Pondicherry retreat, I did not know whether to expect: 

  • Further inner growth and learning
  • Understanding the role and responsibilities of being a part of the NV LIFE team

Irrespective of the above, I was comfortable, knowing that this could be the next level of learning for me (could be, I say because of who I am). There was also a special feeling about the entire program, for me, for the simple fact that I would be meeting many of my Swaha mates- some after a span of a year; for the connections we share are beyond camaraderie. I reflect back on the book Celestine Prophecies, which Naveen Sir had recommended once- that we read…   

Having reached the venue on Day 1 and settled in, I absorbed the place and found it so wonderful and peaceful. It felt like a perfect destination! 

Sir’s briefing on this day, in the evening- on free-will and what we may expect helped set the context and also made me wonder… 

The next day, the visit to the Samadhi of Shri Aurobindo- the moment of bowing down at the samadhi was like a cathartic magnet drawing out my pain and bringing so much peace. It was a truly ethereal experience – that and meditation thereafter. This is how we began and there couldn’t have been another better way! 

As we moved further, on the 1st day of our program, and flowed through the rest of the days, which followed, I felt a continuous build-up of empowerment within. While there was a thrashing of my ego, by my own self, at one end; at another, there was an avenue to reconstruct with its awareness, in place. The coaching sessions – in triads and duo, while we fumbled our way through the same, trying to do our best – I would say that it brought out my lack in a new avatar altogether! 

The 14- 21 relevance, Future Hunting and reclaiming of life-force-energy from various events in the past – these tools felt like ब्रह्मास्त्र – tools which we were handed over with such compassion and trust. 

The Science of Giving- What an amazing lesson we were all offered. We had all gone to receive and here we were told to abandon the same and move towards giving! I was amused and excited – I thought that giving came to me easy! But that was yet another illusion about myself, which got broken – broken but not blown; not shattered – just broken…. 

Yes, I did wonder about the alone free-time to pursue creativity; but I wonder if that would have been possible in the setting of the retreat, where there was so much to learn from nature, from our peers, apart from our Guru, Naveen Sir. Our learning on the suppression of the spirit and its lock on creativity, at the age of 14- 21- actually brought me face to face with the fact that mine was a dried-up well.. and to bring in the gush of creative energies, there was some simple unlocking to be done- simple but sincere. 

This retreat had me experiencing compassion, passionate objectivity, forthcomingness and the small play of Maya – testing me personally for sure. I hold my experience of all of the above in awe and am continuing to soak in and imbibe the same into me. 

In this instance, when I reflect back to the book, the following lines from the chapter: Origin, Introduction, and History of Belief come striking. 

Every moment is an experience and each experience creates a feeling. By nature, each of these feelings tends to take us into the state of either wonderment, bliss, mystery or pain. But if we bring our mind in between, we create thoughts and combining thoughts with feelings becomes a belief…… 

….Belief limits the consciousness and expansion of consciousness are possible by breaking belief. The first step to break the belief is to bring it into awareness…. 

… Nature of belief is to search for certainty, and we have accumulated infinite belief over various lifetimes, coded as the tendencies in our soul…. In life, this is what we do with relationships and self. We create patterns of failures and misery because that gives us a feeling of certainty and a sense of security. 

In this instance, I pray to continue walking… Deepest gratitude for Naveen sir, for all my colleagues and specifically Mihirji, for managing the logistics for all of us. 

Responses

While drawing our algorithm, we start with identifying our symptoms. Do we look at our symptoms of today or from our childhood? Our tendencies also seem like they are about today and not from our childhood. How should I interpret this?

You can start with identifying your symptoms today and make your Algorithm identifying your Lack, Tendency and Pattern. It may seem like the tendencies are loud and clear today. This is only because as an adult, you are either more aware of it, or the tendency is more pronounced. However, if you go back to that age group of 7-14, you will find that the same tendency existed back then as well.  

For example – your lack is abandonment and so your tendency is need to prove/ excel. As an adult, you try extremely hard to prove yourself at work, but maybe as a ten-year-old you wanted to make sure that you win a colouring competition or feel worthy by collecting the maximum number of berries or fruits. 

 So, you would notice how the nature of tendency existed even back then – sometimes subtly, sometimes pronounced. It is just a matter of developing sensitivity to recognize it in that time and space. However, you can always work with current scenarios. 

Now that I have made my algorithm and have identified my lack, what do I do with this? Do I have to re-visit my childhood?

In every moment of disappointment – current or past, you can experience the lack. There are two ways to attend to the lack, once identified – 

  1.  You may simply keep your Algorithm/Lack in awareness by writing the events of the current time and go into breathing 
  2. You can revisit your childhood and write about moments that you experienced the Lack/Algorithm and once you have written a few events (in detail), you may lay down and begin to observe your breath. 

In either of the processes, your Algorithm/lack is in your complete awareness and observing your breath after this would only bring an expansion in your awareness. 

After finding my LTP and mapping my algorithm, I can see how I have suffered in my childhood and continue to do so. What can I do to remedy this and reverse my suffering?

 Since you are seeking the cure, you must know that state of meditation is the state of cure. The more you are in this state, the more you move towards light, thus curing your suffering.  

All the things which come into your awareness, must now be attended to by Observing your breath. For process of attending to what has surfaced, refer to Ques no 8 

Now that I have made my algorithm and have identified my lack, what do I do with this? Do I have to re-visit my childhood?

In every moment of disappointment – current or past, you can experience the lack. There are two ways to attend to the lack, once identified – 

  1.  You may simply keep your Algorithm/Lack in awareness by writing the events of the current time and go into breathing 
  1. You can revisit your childhood and write about moments that you experienced the Lack/Algorithm and once you have written a few events (in detail), you may lay down and begin to observe your breath. 

In either of the processes, your Algorithm/lack is in your complete awareness and observing your breath after this would only bring an expansion in your awareness.