I feel more connected with the universe and I find joy and gratitude in everything. – Amrita (Part 3)

Amrita Ghosh in conversation with Deep Pant (NV Life Fellow & Editor “Whispering Wisdom”) – Part 3

(Read Part 2 or Part 1)

“During the process of Yog Nidra, I felt I am free to do anything and be anyone. I no longer needed to be stuck in the shackles of society. The freedom I felt was an Aha moment for me. I am aware of my conscious choices now and it helps me stay grounded.”

That is a huge shift Amrita. What specific insights did you gain from the programs that helped you break through this pattern?

I think it was through hunting. Our batch had not learned fishing yet then. I had recently felt a little lost for the past few months where I felt the need for hand-holding. But looking back at my journey in NV Life, I can say that at the onset I was a bit resistant. The coaches struggled with me but with Sir’s guidance and the persistence of the coaches (namely Vandana), I could overcome my resistance towards the process. As a professional, I am in sales management and in this materialistic world, you are only as good as the number of sales you do, how much you sold in a day, what was the value and your progress in sales, and so forth. Coming from this point of view, my approach initially towards these programs was that I am going to see changes within me overnight. We are so used to thinking that I am paying money and the other person will fix me. We are not prone to put in the effort to work on ourselves. 

I did not know what exactly the inner work is and how to approach it, and this is exactly what I learned from NV Life. I also learned to work on myself without any expectation or payback and then see what wisdom comes to me. Naveen Sir guided me to do multiple huntings on just one event and suddenly that shift happened that I was happy to be with myself and that incident did not bring any trauma for me. In fact, it healed me.  

I no longer expect validation. The love, the validation that I wanted from situations and people has considerably gone down. It is still there as we are human. Years of this habit of seeking love, respect and, validation from outside will reduce with constant practice and staying with my breath. As an example, I was a compulsive social poster. I would discuss every aspect of my life, the image that I had to live up to but post. Now I am aware of this tendency of mine. 

Post NV Life, I do not feel the need to constantly bring attention to my life. I can go for days to weeks without broadcasting anything on social media. I can see these shifts. I also feel that I respond differently to my family than earlier, which would result in huge fights and confrontations, but now there are no fights. As peace is growing within, it is growing all around me. 

 

Working on ourselves plays a shift in our ecosystem. How did you feel your surroundings change? What shift did you feel around you in your ecosystem?  

The first person to see a shift in me was my mother who felt that my response towards situations changed. She brought this to my awareness. My relationship with my mother has become much better. I feel I understand both my parents much better now. My relationship with my husband has also been very good. Moreover, I feel that it is me who has changed for the better compared to my previous reactions where I would just blow my switch off in anger and outburst. I have become more tolerant, objective, and a much calmer person than before. 

 

What was your aha moment when you were working on yourself?  

I used to have very vivid frightening nightmares that would not go away and would persist as if I could see myself in those situations and felt a connection to those nightmares. When I hunted on my parents and went into Yog Nidra, I felt that I could see all my past lifetimes, as well as some future lifetimes, and I could connect the dots of my past lifetimes with those nightmares. I also felt a huge karmic connection with my husband whom I felt I knew from my previous lifetimes. I would always ask myself, why did I attract this marriage? But now I know that I needed it to resolve some karmic energies.  

Another Aha moment for me was that during the process of Yog Nidra, I felt I am free to do anything and be anyone. I no longer needed to be stuck in the shackles of society. The freedom I felt was an Aha moment for me. I am aware of my conscious choices now and it helps me stay grounded. I have taken a drastically different career decision. There is a lot of uncertainty and fear of the unknown but it no longer cripples me. I am curious about what lies ahead. I have regained my interest in life and to live again and explore more. I rediscovered my love for writing after years of creative block in my head. 

 

Where is your spirit now? What message and guidance you would like to give to the participants of NV Life?

My spirit is awakened and I am still in the process of discovering more about myself. I am a work-in-progress. I feel more connected with the universe and I find joy and gratitude in everything.

My message to the participants would be to come in with an open mind to attend these courses. Society conditions us to a degree where we feel scared to give new experiences the chance they deserve.

Do not hesitate to explore your dark. We are all made of positives and negatives and the whole culture of ‘being positive’ can turn toxic where we try to hide our dark under pressure and in the process we do not own our problems and mistakes.

It is easier to blame someone else. All these are our own beliefs which we need to work upon. Just give it an honest shot. Owning your own mistakes is the beginning of fixing yourself. 

 

“It took me all these decades 
And a tsunami of emotions
To realize this small truth.
I used to think that Time
Will understand my remorse
Moreover, give me more chapters. 
However, I know now that 
I am only as good as this moment.” 

_an excerpt from her personal blog

Responses

While drawing our algorithm, we start with identifying our symptoms. Do we look at our symptoms of today or from our childhood? Our tendencies also seem like they are about today and not from our childhood. How should I interpret this?

You can start with identifying your symptoms today and make your Algorithm identifying your Lack, Tendency and Pattern. It may seem like the tendencies are loud and clear today. This is only because as an adult, you are either more aware of it, or the tendency is more pronounced. However, if you go back to that age group of 7-14, you will find that the same tendency existed back then as well.  

For example – your lack is abandonment and so your tendency is need to prove/ excel. As an adult, you try extremely hard to prove yourself at work, but maybe as a ten-year-old you wanted to make sure that you win a colouring competition or feel worthy by collecting the maximum number of berries or fruits. 

 So, you would notice how the nature of tendency existed even back then – sometimes subtly, sometimes pronounced. It is just a matter of developing sensitivity to recognize it in that time and space. However, you can always work with current scenarios. 

Now that I have made my algorithm and have identified my lack, what do I do with this? Do I have to re-visit my childhood?

In every moment of disappointment – current or past, you can experience the lack. There are two ways to attend to the lack, once identified – 

  1.  You may simply keep your Algorithm/Lack in awareness by writing the events of the current time and go into breathing 
  2. You can revisit your childhood and write about moments that you experienced the Lack/Algorithm and once you have written a few events (in detail), you may lay down and begin to observe your breath. 

In either of the processes, your Algorithm/lack is in your complete awareness and observing your breath after this would only bring an expansion in your awareness. 

After finding my LTP and mapping my algorithm, I can see how I have suffered in my childhood and continue to do so. What can I do to remedy this and reverse my suffering?

 Since you are seeking the cure, you must know that state of meditation is the state of cure. The more you are in this state, the more you move towards light, thus curing your suffering.  

All the things which come into your awareness, must now be attended to by Observing your breath. For process of attending to what has surfaced, refer to Ques no 8 

Now that I have made my algorithm and have identified my lack, what do I do with this? Do I have to re-visit my childhood?

In every moment of disappointment – current or past, you can experience the lack. There are two ways to attend to the lack, once identified – 

  1.  You may simply keep your Algorithm/Lack in awareness by writing the events of the current time and go into breathing 
  1. You can revisit your childhood and write about moments that you experienced the Lack/Algorithm and once you have written a few events (in detail), you may lay down and begin to observe your breath. 

In either of the processes, your Algorithm/lack is in your complete awareness and observing your breath after this would only bring an expansion in your awareness.