He transformed within…to discover a new Self

“I felt I was directionless, on a journey to nowhere. Today, while I may not know the destination, I am certain I am on the right path.”

Anonymous (40)
Hospitality Professional 

 When he joined Chetna in August, it was due to the distress he felt in his personal life, having gone through a Divorce and its numerous ramifications. He suffered from Anxiety, Sleeplessness, and the deep emotional distress which followed.  

  • His suffering, he shares, was due to a suppressed sense of unworthiness, which he always tackled by taking control of situations and “proving” himself. 
  •  When he looked within, he found the root cause lay buried in his childhood and adolescence. In all the different events which lay there, unresolved, keeping him in a loop of suffering. But what remained constant, were the emotions that surfaced repeatedly.  
  • As he walked through Chetna and Vedna, he was able to see the maze he had unintentionally created for himself. He was surprised to see how his true intent never allowed him to move forward the way he thought he wanted. 
  • He could see how he had created a safe space in “self-pity”, which had become very hard to come out of.  
  • After Chetna, his anxiety and sleeplessness had disappeared, and he found a stark improvement in his relationships. But it was in Vedna, that he started discovering his inner journey, and experiencing a feeling of deep “solitude”. 

Our ecosystem is a mirror of our own emotional state and beliefs. When we suppress and carry these beliefs forward in our life, unresolved, we reach a point where every trigger takes us back to the same emotions, be they- Unloved, Unworthy, Unrecognized, or Unappreciated in some form.  

We tend to externalize, place blame, and retreat into self-pity, a seemingly endless state where we can remain until the final moment of realization hits us. For this Participant, someone dear to him felt his pain and guided him to Chetna and Vedna- where through breath, he turned inward and found the origin of his beliefs.  

With this expanded consciousness, he walks a new beat altogether- one where he looks ahead with curiosity, and not fear.

Responses

While drawing our algorithm, we start with identifying our symptoms. Do we look at our symptoms of today or from our childhood? Our tendencies also seem like they are about today and not from our childhood. How should I interpret this?

You can start with identifying your symptoms today and make your Algorithm identifying your Lack, Tendency and Pattern. It may seem like the tendencies are loud and clear today. This is only because as an adult, you are either more aware of it, or the tendency is more pronounced. However, if you go back to that age group of 7-14, you will find that the same tendency existed back then as well.  

For example – your lack is abandonment and so your tendency is need to prove/ excel. As an adult, you try extremely hard to prove yourself at work, but maybe as a ten-year-old you wanted to make sure that you win a colouring competition or feel worthy by collecting the maximum number of berries or fruits. 

 So, you would notice how the nature of tendency existed even back then – sometimes subtly, sometimes pronounced. It is just a matter of developing sensitivity to recognize it in that time and space. However, you can always work with current scenarios. 

Now that I have made my algorithm and have identified my lack, what do I do with this? Do I have to re-visit my childhood?

In every moment of disappointment – current or past, you can experience the lack. There are two ways to attend to the lack, once identified – 

  1.  You may simply keep your Algorithm/Lack in awareness by writing the events of the current time and go into breathing 
  2. You can revisit your childhood and write about moments that you experienced the Lack/Algorithm and once you have written a few events (in detail), you may lay down and begin to observe your breath. 

In either of the processes, your Algorithm/lack is in your complete awareness and observing your breath after this would only bring an expansion in your awareness. 

After finding my LTP and mapping my algorithm, I can see how I have suffered in my childhood and continue to do so. What can I do to remedy this and reverse my suffering?

 Since you are seeking the cure, you must know that state of meditation is the state of cure. The more you are in this state, the more you move towards light, thus curing your suffering.  

All the things which come into your awareness, must now be attended to by Observing your breath. For process of attending to what has surfaced, refer to Ques no 8 

Now that I have made my algorithm and have identified my lack, what do I do with this? Do I have to re-visit my childhood?

In every moment of disappointment – current or past, you can experience the lack. There are two ways to attend to the lack, once identified – 

  1.  You may simply keep your Algorithm/Lack in awareness by writing the events of the current time and go into breathing 
  1. You can revisit your childhood and write about moments that you experienced the Lack/Algorithm and once you have written a few events (in detail), you may lay down and begin to observe your breath. 

In either of the processes, your Algorithm/lack is in your complete awareness and observing your breath after this would only bring an expansion in your awareness.