Sir, I have immense fear when I am on a flight and the plane is taking off. I am ok with the landing though. I have also observed the same pattern repeat, if I gain slight success at work or in my relationships- fear comes up there as well.
The fear of success and of power, these are two emotions that are very prominent amongst those who are on the inward journey, or those who are grounded within themselves, and not blindly ambitious.
Your emotional body is still stuck in your childhood. As a child, when you attained success, you felt that you would become lonely. What is that one emotion that would be suffocated if you are successful?
This is a usual occurrence if one is from a middle-income family, and is attaining a higher dimension of material success than those around him/her. The fear sets in, ‘what if my family accuses me of being arrogant and consequently rejects me’? The fear of being left alone, and alienated.
You will have to accept that as you proceed on this inward path, your thoughts and emotions begin to change. You may no longer be able to relate to the people in your family and community like you could a few years back.
Accept that your thinking may differ but the love remains, it will always remain! And learn to differentiate between the two.
There has been a beautiful practise in our culture- when anyone attained success or repute of any kind, there would always be a celebration. They would distribute sweets or help others. It has been a way to include others in the joy they felt. “I have achieved this- let me share it with you- or let me help you achieve the same too”. It is an act of compassion, not one to boast of one’s achievements and acquisitions.
So let us assume that X percent of your skill, talent or wealth goes towards the upliftment of your family. You make a conscious effort to help them. Not from a place of ego to prove yourself as superior, or the need to suffocate them with your wealth, but from a place of empathy and compassion.
Then let’s understand this analogy. What naturally occurs is- You are one knot in the net ( community) and you are rising up, but gravity is pulling you down. If there are other knots and you are all rising up together then you can overcome the opposing force of gravity.