New Year resolutions- Why they fail and how to make them work
A few days back, someone tweeted – ‘The most useless purchase for the year 2020 was buying a planner’. But resolutions are a different thing to planning the future. There are two reasons we make resolutions for the new year. Either because something is lacking in us or because there is something more, we want to achieve. Regardless, they do not work. They both come from the position of a lack and that only creates more lack. Resolutions are very harmful for you when they fail and they do fail, it makes you feel more hopeless and unworthy than before.
Here are 10 areas which if you keep in attention, will bring a shift in your well–being and health on its own without any effort. Next year on the same day, you will be glad that you read this blog.
1. Well–being and not Wellness
When a few days back Remo Dsouza, the famous dancer and choreographer got a heart attack, his colleagues tweeted– ‘It is shocking. He was always a fitness freak and most of all, his work is all about physical fitness’. His colleague is as naive as he is about human life. The heart is matter of living emotions and fitness has nothing to do with it.
The work you do in the name of wellness is to handle fluids and fluidic pads in between the joints of your bone. It is necessary to move the body but that does not give you health. Health is a function of well–being and not wellness and well–being means spiritual, emotional and mental health.
2. Food and not Diet
Get the basics right. Your body has 18% carbon. Go google it. It has an intrinsic system to excrete toxicity every day. Emotional toxicity adds to the carbon more than food. Focusing on diet for calories and nutrition and regulating your hunger is damaging you. Listen to your body rather than the teachings you read on google or watch on YouTube from diet gurus. Pay attention to your ‘vikruti’ about food, taste and smell and quantity. Your body needs everything to process, and immune system is optimal when it processes everything in nature so that it can throw waste out. Align with the nature of your body. Eat everything not for greed but to fill the need your body naturally has. Eat just enough or a little less. Eat in silence. Cook your own meal. Remember, the best food for you is the food your body is attuned to since childhood. Yes, avoid processed and stored food. Avoid artificial compositions of ingredients (factory made). Food is survival and it has huge emotions hidden inside passed on by your mother. It is an intricate science and diet plays a very small part in it.
3. Yog and not Yoga
The way YOGA is taught is hugely distorted. It has become a circus. YOG was discovered to gently (it really means gently) create those postures. Each posture is regulating the breath to a specific part of the body. Why? Because that part of the body is not getting oxygen due to emotions held there. So, each posture, releases the held-up emotions and frees up the body for breath to circulate. By doing so, spirit-body-mind come in union and that state is called Yog Nidra (Meditation). It is a subtle process and requires you to be sensitive. You cannot hear it if you are jumping like a monkey with earphones plugged in the ears, busy shutting your noisy mind. The way people do YOGA is to exhaust the body and suspend the thoughts. An hour later they are back to the same toxicity of their emotions and thoughts. YOG is prevention and cure for well–being. It is a process to arrive at union of the spirit-body-mind by regulating your breath.
4. Desire and not Ambition
Desire is the expression of spirit. Go ahead and desire anything you wish to experience. This awakens your spirit. The desires have its own nature. More you breathe your desires; authentic desires gain power to manifest on its own and toxic desires fall off. It is a way to get intimate with yourself.
But if you turn desire into ambition, you begin to suffer. By doing so, you move away from the source of desire and stay in your mind. For ambition to manifest you require total attention of your mind on the ambition. Your mind is already scattered. You are now trapped between helplessness and desire to see manifestation.
And we still did not tell you about INTENT. When the INTENT and desire becomes one– it manifests on its own.
5. Online courses and not Gym
Pandemics for the last 1000 years has always been about sinking what is obsolete in nature and causing a shift in the consciousness for next level evolution. In this technological age, travelling to office everyday and imparting information (and not wisdom) through classroom was an obsolete phenomenon. Everyone is forced to turn inward and understand the essential. Cure is within you. Learn things which align you with nature. Grudges, trauma, depression, and hopelessness damage your immune system. Not every person caught Covid but fragile and people with weak immune system visited ICU.
6. Aesthetics and not Grooming
Aesthetics enrich your spirit. Grooming enhances your ego. Ego is inverse to immunity. Aesthetics is simple to understand. Anybody you engage or interact with or anything you use, when you leave that, leave it cleaner and more beautiful than before. Be it the toilet, kitchen, an interaction or a relationship.
7. Within and not Without
You know it now. You do not need to be taught. A year in the pandemic has taught you to turn inward. Learn how to turn inwards.
8. Stability and not Blind Growth
Vice-President of a luxury car maker told me during a talk in the early days of pandemic, that if I could live without visiting a restaurant for two months and still be happy than I have now understood what is essential for life. You know it all. We are accustomed to year-on-year growth. This is not the year for growth but for stability. Rework on your plans and relax.
9. Femininity and not Feminism
In the last 5 decades or so, that we worked on feminism, it gave our women more PCOD and infertility and broken hearts than before. We confused femininity with feminism. We fought while there was no war. The places where we wanted more safety and security, much remains to be desired yet. Parents in any case were making their girls independent rather than grooming them for the kitchen.
Grow your attributes. Believe in your inherent strength of being a woman and it does not have to be a fight for equality. A strong woman is a woman who has well-groomed attributes, and everyone wants to be with her.
10. Contentment and not Fulfilment
The problem with looking for fulfillment is that you are assuming that you lack something. Contentment is feeling complete with what is given. Be content with what you have. If you want to climb up to the third floor, arrive at the 2nd floor first. Contentment is the base for bliss. Sustain it.